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Experience, Learning and Bad Judgement

    Experience, Learning and Bad Judgement –

    Good judgement is the result of experience … but experience is the result of bad judgement


    Wrong_RightIn life, we all make things called mistakes. These can arise from deliberate decisions that we later come to regret – or they can be accidental – such as when following a wrong turn, heeding bad advice, or labouring under a misconception. We therefore make intentional, as well as unintentional mistakes—mistakes that we adamantly choose—oopsand mistakes that we just don’t realise we are misguidedly going along with. 


    By and large, this is what the constructive version of the mistake making process looks like:

    ConstructiveCroppedMistake Made – Some degree of pain, suffering or loss – Learning Takes Place – Some degree of mellowing ensues in the aftermath so that we eventually become softened and matured by the learning experience—leading to us becoming wiser and less prone to error. 

     And this is what the destructive version of the process looks like:

    JackhammerSignBetterMistake Made – Some degree of pain, suffering or loss –       Learning Takes Place – Some degree of bitterness ensues in the aftermath so that we eventually become hardened and more mentally or emotionally callous due to the learning experience—leading to us becoming less discerning and more prone to other kinds of errors. 


    LearningKeyThe most important part of the process outlined above therefore, is the ‘Learning Takes Place‘ part. This is because it holds the key to whether or not you will soften, mellow and mature … or become hardened, harsh and more mentally or emotionally callous (which is the anti-thesis of mellowing, maturation and wisdom). 

    In truth, you can use your pain, suffering or loss to effect either outcome…IMG_0080to harden yourself…or to mellow yourself.  It all comes down to your learning experience—how you interpret what has happened—and then how you choose to use it.


    The power of interpretation therefore…is HUGE…and so is the power of MISINTERPRETATION!


    AssumptionsAs human beings, it is all-too-easy to misinterpret what happens, because we are beings with limited scope to our vision, hearing and interpretive power, especially when it comes to processing WHAT we are seeing and hearing … HOW we are seeing and hearing it … and WHY we think we are seeing and hearing it. The What…The How…and The Why—these are the three main ways in which we actually get things wrong if we are not really careful. Just as there is more than one way to skin a cat…there is more than one way to cook your own goose!


    So, if you use your learning experience to learn about your limitations as a human being—and to act upon compensating for them—you will have exercised an important choice for all future experiences.


    But if you do not do this…and you carry on as before…only now with the added problem of bitterness to further blind you—then you will have simply compounded your problem. You will be blaming something else for your problem other than the actual thing that can help prevent future problems! BrainWorkoutYou will be directing all your energy into bitterness initiatives and callousness strategies, instead of into realisation initiatives and improvement strategies that deal with these kinds of limits to your perceptions (as well as the perceptions of others).


    One of the ways outlined above involves accepting the fact that you are only human … and the other way involves one or more forms of denial in regard to this fact. If you can’t allow yourself to recognise yourself as a fallible human —then you have misinterpreted the most important learning experience of all.


    Choose wisely therefore—the who, what, how and why—you blame for your mistakes. self-analysisBusinessBut if you choose to blame yourself, then be careful how you do this also. For there is subjective selfish blame … and there is objective selfless blame. In my concept of the Maturity Continuum, I have defined selflessness as the ability to stand apart from yourself and objectively appraise yourself, in order to effect improvement in yourself. Selfishness is, amongst other things, the inability to do this. So don’t blame yourself unless you have learned enough about yourself to do it properly.


    Self-awarenessI can of course, help you with this process. I specialise in helping people to become self-aware enough that they can actually become selfless enough do this kind of thing well. But don’t let the term self-aware fool you. Everybody knows what they are doing from moment to moment – and so they think that they have self-awareness. But self-awareness isn’t knowing what you are doing moment to moment…it’s knowing why you keep doing what you are doing as an overall pattern. And this includes your pattern of error also.


    InsideTheBoxBeware the box. The box is where you are when you subjectively know what you are doing. Outside of the box is when you have finally figured out which box you have … why you have it … and how to objectively compensate for having it.MindQuestion8



      A problem shared .... is a problem halved ... and a problem shared with the right person ... is a problem solved!

      Steven Bailey-Brown

      Human Dynamics Facilitator

      45 Ventnor Avenue, West Perth, WA 6005
      Mobile: 0403 969 527